Dress. Or, T is NOT ALLOWED to read this post.

16 Sep

I really appreciate that I have a partner who will absolutely not read posts that specifically instruct him not to read them (I’m not sure I can claim to be as disciplined). But nope, no way, I know that he absolutely will not be reading this.

I have found my dress!! Just thinking about it makes me grin. I didn’t think I would really love a dress, but oh yes, I have learned, it is possible, and I’m feeling a little bit guilty and self-indulgent now for liking a material thing so much. I mean, I just get to wear it for one day, and it’s not like it does dishes or pulls weeds, or computes anything… But, sigh, it made me feel so …  beautiful. And my mom loves it too.

I was at my cousin Jason’s amazing wedding this past weekend, at the Catholic Basilica in Carmel. It sounds cliche, but honestly, it was truly an inspiring weekend with so much love and happiness abounding. At the reception my aunt Jane said that Trisha, Jason’s new wife, had said about finding Jason, “You have to hear the boom.” Aunt Jane said she herself heard the boom the minute she met my uncle Paul. I heard the boom when I started dating my fiance, but I was trying very hard not to hear it. Well, Aunt Jane, I have to tell you, I actually heard the boom when I put on the right dress on Monday morning (is that wrong?).

I think it’s funny how, when describing wedding dress colors, they use warm, evocative words as alternatives to white and ivory, like “vanilla” and “candle”. Well, I guess there’s a reason for that, since “frost” and “icicle” would send the wrong sort of message, as would “iceberg.” I recently asked T about different colors of dresses, as I really like the uber-sophisticated antique-pink shades that some gowns come in these days.  I was informed  on the spot that it wouldn’t feel like a wedding to him unless the dress color fell into the “white category,” so there will be no technicolor gown; it will be off white. Vanilla, actually.  Thank you, Sparky, for making that decision so very easy for me. Since you’re not reading, you have no idea how much I appreciate that right about now.

It is true that dress shopping is fun, but it is also a little anxiety producing. I went with my mother, Lesley (one of my bridesmaids), and Amaya. I was full of niggling little fears. What if I don’t love any of the dresses? What if I like a dress that costs more than I want to spend? Will any of the dresses zip all the way up, or will they all be so small that the saleslady throws away her little bag of clips and declares that she won’t be needing those to make the dress fit more snugly on me? And my personal favorite paranoia–when I put on the dress, will my backside be in IMAX 3-D? I had a very real objection to seeing my butt in a big white dress, and a double objection to having other people see that. And you know what? The bridal consultant kept bringing out samples that were indeed too tight around the hips until I finally broke down and uttered, “Why are you torturing me?” We both laughed (what choice did we have, really?), but it is now clear that my fears were not entirely unfounded, though they were much more manageable in reality than they were in my imagination. I did not find the dress that particular day, but we actually had a lot of fun, and I did develop a significantly better sense of humor about it all. I even tried on a ballgown to appease my daughter, who said that none of my dress choices were “Cinderella-enough”.  I am thankful for everyone’s input, and secretly glad that this was the one dress shopping outing we went on.

The truth is that I originally found “the  dress” on the internet many months ago. I think this is what they mean by the term “modern bride.” I was pretty sure it was the one, but I had to try it on to be sure. When I made my appointment weeks ago to go try on dresses , they said they had the exact dress I liked–but when we all got there, they had sold their only sample. This made the shopping that day extra tough because I felt I couldn’t like any of the other dresses until I knew whether the one I had seen on the Internet was “the one.” Well, I lucked out because the store subsequently received a sample for a trunk show they were having this past weekend. I couldn’t go to the trunk show as we were in Carmel, so I made an appointment for Monday morning, first thing. I headed over on the train by myself, tried it on, heard the boom, and that was that.

It’s almost too bad Sparky isn’t reading this, because he would be so, so proud: I have already scoured the Internet and found a bride who changed her venue and who is selling my dress, brand new, in my size and in “vanilla” (!), for a fraction of the original cost. KP in Vancouver is now having a Vegas wedding, so she no longer needs the not-Vegas-at-all dress she bought. She is so very thrilled to be recouping some of her expense, and I am so thrilled to be able to wear a most awesome dress on my wedding day.

Boom, boom, boom.



30 Aug

Our four girls finally started laying.  One day we had two eggs in the nest, and within days all four of them were laying like crazy. Some days there are two eggs, some days four. I think this means our neighbors are going to have to help us eat them (and hopefully said neighbors will stop hating our hens for cackling so much at 7am every morning…).

I can hardly believe how perfect they are. I do feel somewhat guilty when we rob the little gems from their nest boxes (we leave golf balls in the nest so they don’t feel too bereft). On the other hand, the hens did find their way into our garden and ate up all of our broccoli and lettuce this summer…so I’m not issuing any formal apologies for nest-robbing. Not yet.

I have never before experienced such affinity for eggs. Or beige.

Aren’t these little beauties just so…lovely?



A Reason to Love Being a Mom.

25 Jul


When someone rudely sticks a foot in your face, it might have little swirlies on it and a smiley face on each toe.


17 Jul

We have  chosen a reception place. If they’ll let us get married on the beach we’ll probably get married there, too.

I am posting a link to it at the end of the post and not right here because before you click anywhere to go see what it looks like, there is something you should know.

Edgewood is a big craftsman-meets-mountain-lodge-style building with floor to ceiling windows facing the water. It’s totally beautiful, and I love it. It’s got a wonderful warm mountainy feel with  a good dose of relaxed elegance. And it’s attached to a…golf course. There, I said it. A golf course. Now if you know me, you must currently be thinking I have lost every last one of my marbles. And it’s true that I have done that on a few occasions, so you have every reason to believe that is what’s behind this decision.

Yeah, my sensibilities have protested a bit.  I have not exactly envisioned marrying anywhere that has the word “golf” or “course” in the name. Golf courses are for frat boys and uber-conservatives and seniors and Scotsmen in tams, not hip, young Bay Area do-it-yourselfers like us, right? I’ve always thought you had to be somewhat superhuman to even think about getting that ball into a little hole 200 yards away (either that or I’m missing the segment of DNA requisite for the job). In fact, I once tried to hit a golf ball on an outing to the driving range with my father.  I ended up digging a little moat  all the way around the ball without ever actually hitting the little white menace. Grrrrr. That’s what I think of golf.

So I guess I’ve come face to face with the compromise part of the planning in the very first thing I’ve planned. The truth is that  there aren’t any cute shacks made of sticks in which we can get married up there. I did find an adorable church at Fallen Leaf Lake that welcomes all denominations, but I don’t think everyone would fit inside of it, which is really too bad. There are also a limited number of reception places with great food in the South Lake Tahoe area (if you’ve considered opening an elegantly rustic barn on the waterfront that serves awesome food , that would be the place…and if you can you do it before July 24, 2011 let’s talk). Anyway, that leaves about a handful of viable options, and I think Edgewood is the best one by a mile (and my mom thinks so too). No, it isn’t the sort of place I’d create if I were in charge of creating perfect little wedding nooks in the mountains. For starters, it lacks sticks. But taking the time to consider the pros and cons of this location has helped Sparky and me to clarify that what matters most to us is that we marry in the mountains we love, surrounded by the people we care about. Our “location” is really the mountains and the lake and the whole weekend–not the golf course on the other side of the building. Once we had that revelation the next step was obvious–make sure that wherever we are, we’re in a beautiful spot where we can see the lake and the mountains, and make sure that our people are well looked-after. We know that will happen at the place we’ve picked, and we feel super lucky to be able to have our celebration there.

And anyway, I’m thinking the wedding will probably make us forget the golf part …




It’s a date.

15 Jul

Sunday, July 24, 2011.



15 Mar


Elizabeth started this site to share a bit about our life (& our wedding planning, for those who are interested…) . Elizabeth is totally fascinated by several different creative/crafty-stuff blogs these days, and really likes writing; T is happy she digs that stuff, but isn’t too crazy about having his name and likeness posted anywhere on the internet…so hopefully he and she can come to some sort of compromise about what gets shared where. If she starts referring to him as “Sparky” or something like that, you’ll know why.



ps: if you’re as obsessed as Elizabeth is with making stuff,  (and possibly get some insight into some projects she likes and/or might be working on for the wedding), you can visit the separate wedding craft blog she made at d.i.wedding.