Dress. Or, T is NOT ALLOWED to read this post.

16 Sep

I really appreciate that I have a partner who will absolutely not read posts that specifically instruct him not to read them (I’m not sure I can claim to be as disciplined). But nope, no way, I know that he absolutely will not be reading this.

I have found my dress!! Just thinking about it makes me grin. I didn’t think I would really love a dress, but oh yes, I have learned, it is possible, and I’m feeling a little bit guilty and self-indulgent now for liking a material thing so much. I mean, I just get to wear it for one day, and it’s not like it does dishes or pulls weeds, or computes anything… But, sigh, it made me feel so …  beautiful. And my mom loves it too.

I was at my cousin Jason’s amazing wedding this past weekend, at the Catholic Basilica in Carmel. It sounds cliche, but honestly, it was truly an inspiring weekend with so much love and happiness abounding. At the reception my aunt Jane said that Trisha, Jason’s new wife, had said about finding Jason, “You have to hear the boom.” Aunt Jane said she herself heard the boom the minute she met my uncle Paul. I heard the boom when I started dating my fiance, but I was trying very hard not to hear it. Well, Aunt Jane, I have to tell you, I actually heard the boom when I put on the right dress on Monday morning (is that wrong?).

I think it’s funny how, when describing wedding dress colors, they use warm, evocative words as alternatives to white and ivory, like “vanilla” and “candle”. Well, I guess there’s a reason for that, since “frost” and “icicle” would send the wrong sort of message, as would “iceberg.” I recently asked T about different colors of dresses, as I really like the uber-sophisticated antique-pink shades that some gowns come in these days.  I was informed  on the spot that it wouldn’t feel like a wedding to him unless the dress color fell into the “white category,” so there will be no technicolor gown; it will be off white. Vanilla, actually.  Thank you, Sparky, for making that decision so very easy for me. Since you’re not reading, you have no idea how much I appreciate that right about now.

It is true that dress shopping is fun, but it is also a little anxiety producing. I went with my mother, Lesley (one of my bridesmaids), and Amaya. I was full of niggling little fears. What if I don’t love any of the dresses? What if I like a dress that costs more than I want to spend? Will any of the dresses zip all the way up, or will they all be so small that the saleslady throws away her little bag of clips and declares that she won’t be needing those to make the dress fit more snugly on me? And my personal favorite paranoia–when I put on the dress, will my backside be in IMAX 3-D? I had a very real objection to seeing my butt in a big white dress, and a double objection to having other people see that. And you know what? The bridal consultant kept bringing out samples that were indeed too tight around the hips until I finally broke down and uttered, “Why are you torturing me?” We both laughed (what choice did we have, really?), but it is now clear that my fears were not entirely unfounded, though they were much more manageable in reality than they were in my imagination. I did not find the dress that particular day, but we actually had a lot of fun, and I did develop a significantly better sense of humor about it all. I even tried on a ballgown to appease my daughter, who said that none of my dress choices were “Cinderella-enough”.  I am thankful for everyone’s input, and secretly glad that this was the one dress shopping outing we went on.

The truth is that I originally found “the  dress” on the internet many months ago. I think this is what they mean by the term “modern bride.” I was pretty sure it was the one, but I had to try it on to be sure. When I made my appointment weeks ago to go try on dresses , they said they had the exact dress I liked–but when we all got there, they had sold their only sample. This made the shopping that day extra tough because I felt I couldn’t like any of the other dresses until I knew whether the one I had seen on the Internet was “the one.” Well, I lucked out because the store subsequently received a sample for a trunk show they were having this past weekend. I couldn’t go to the trunk show as we were in Carmel, so I made an appointment for Monday morning, first thing. I headed over on the train by myself, tried it on, heard the boom, and that was that.

It’s almost too bad Sparky isn’t reading this, because he would be so, so proud: I have already scoured the Internet and found a bride who changed her venue and who is selling my dress, brand new, in my size and in “vanilla” (!), for a fraction of the original cost. KP in Vancouver is now having a Vegas wedding, so she no longer needs the not-Vegas-at-all dress she bought. She is so very thrilled to be recouping some of her expense, and I am so thrilled to be able to wear a most awesome dress on my wedding day.

Boom, boom, boom.

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One Response to “Dress. Or, T is NOT ALLOWED to read this post.”

  1. josh boatright September 16, 2010 at 4:49 pm #

    love the boom bit as well as the color

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